I had an argument with a woman in the supermarket this afternoon. Standing behind me in the queue at the checkouts I noticed her looking me in a way which plainly said she thought I’d pushed in ahead of her, and sure enough this is what I was accused of a few seconds later.
Firstly, let me say that I didn’t push in. Quite apart from the fact that this is something I’d not do intentionally, there was no way this woman (I shall for the purposes of this post call her Loretta) got there before me. She had a trolley (I had a basket) and joined the queue from the same direction I did - quite simply I’d have seen her if she’d been standing there when I arrived.
So, she told me that I’d pushed in and that my place was at the back of the queue. Naturally I said that I hadn’t and that I was going to stay where I was thank you very much. She replied that I had definitely pushed in, I told her that I didn’t like being called a liar, and things continued along a similar vein for a couple of exchanges, neither party actually achieving anything as you might imagine.
Loretta then told me that I should let her in front of me since that’s what I’d do if I was a gentleman, which irritated me somewhat. I told her not to give me that one, and that anyway it wouldn’t be gentlemanly if she’d told me to do it in the first place (by now I was committed to standing my ground and wasn’t going to move however much she argued and accused me).
In between all this her daughter had evidently been trying to calm her down since I heard Loretta tell her that no, she wasn’t going to let it go. Her next line to me was to say “even my daughter says you pushed in”. What’s that supposed to mean, I thought? Perhaps her daugher’s word is not usually trustworthhy… nevertheless I kept my mouth shut and didn’t respond to this. Instead I said I was sorry there was a difference of opinion, and turned away because my turn at the till had come up (before Loretta’s, of course). I paid and I left, wishing Loretta a nice day. She ignored me.
The story ends at this point, but it left me feeling quite angry at the injustice of her accusations. I’m sure she felt similarly angry though, and the thing is I can see how she might have thought I’d pushed in. My “mistake” was to join the tail end of the queue off to the side in an attempt to keep the aisle relatively clear (the queues were extending back behind the tills). Then along came Loretta, who possibly didn’t see me, or at least didn’t see me as part of the queue at first. She then spotted me and assumed I’d jumped in. However, I didn’t try to explain this at the time since I felt it would have gotten me nowhere.
In future, maybe I shouldn’t bother trying to be considerate when I’m doing my shopping and just plonk myself down in the middle of the floor - after all it’s someone else’s problem if they want to navigate around me with a laden trolley in a busy supermarket, and why should I think about them? I could even bring traffic cones to mark out my territory.
So Loretta, if you’re reading this, that’s my story. I repeat that I regret the difference of opinion, but I’m not sorry for anything I did or said. Now it’s your turn.
I had a rude guy yesterday - Jade and I did our twice monthly shop - and had a large basket of stuff.
This is ~10pm in Tescos Guildford where they only have the automated checkouts open (during the day they have real people at the other checkouts).
There are 4 “basket” automated checkouts and 2 “trolley” checkouts.
We picked a trolley checkout which was not being used.
Shortly after all the other checkouts were in use.. we had several people walk past and sigh and another guy who was rude and said “For F*cks sake” nice and loudly so others could hear.
But its like “what do you want us to do!” Its not like
1) We can stop and let you in
2) We should come shopping at another time
3) We can do anything about the lack of manned tills for you to use.
Grr.. annoying people.
Loretta’s not reading, so no point apologising. Hate people like that tho - take it like a man… even if you had pushed in (which knowing you, i know full well u didnt), suck it and bite the bullet - it happens… usually by twats, but it does…
I’m sorry she was so rude Chris.
I think in this entry you have proved (not that you needed to) that you are a gentleman - you actually put how she might have been feeling despite clearly her being in the wrong. Thankyou for being so lovely.
I think her reaction was pretty understandable, and if she didn’t see me when she arrived it would have been natural to assume what she did. It’s just frustrating that in these kind of situations when both parties are (quite reasonably) convinced by different truths because one side doesn’t know (or won’t accept) the whole picture, it’s very difficult to avoid an outcome where everyone feels wronged.
I think I might have let her in front of me anyway if she’d been nicer and more polite about it, but I can’t see how she would have been given the situation (then again, I might not - I guess we’ll never know).
Andy, I know she’s not going to see this, and I wasn’t apologising - as I said in the last paragraph. I guess this was my way of venting some frustration and reconciling my actions to myself!
Sorry about your experience Tom; if I read you right, you hadn’t done anything remotely wrong, only turned up with a basket at a station ordinarily used by trolleys - in which case I can’t see what those people found to be annoyed about. Unless you’re explicitly asked not to bring baskets through those tills?
Na.. I was using a trolley at the trolley line.. Which makes it even more bizarre.
Don’t these incidents make your blood boil?!! I can totally relate to how you felt and if I could get my hands on Loretta I would give her a piece of my mind…….. I remember a similar incident in Sainsbury’s in Guildford with a rude shopper who managed to annoy me so much that we had a row like two fish wives! Makes me blusht to think of it. Well done for staying calm!
Thanks! She must have been rude, if she made you join in. Did you look at her shopping and comfort yourself with the fact that you were buying nicer stuff than her?
I should have done! But I was too incensed from what I remember. I think you were there, aged about 6 - I’m glad it doesn’t seem to have left a lasting impression on you!