Spatho.com

One Monday evening a couple of weeks ago I returned home late from work wanting something quick and easy for dinner, so I slung a pizza in the oven. At this point I realised I’d bought the wrong pizza. I’d stopped off at a Morrison’s on the way home from a client a day or two before and bought what I’d believed to be a jolly nice pepperoni job. It was a fresh one, and said “Italian Style Stonebaked Pizza” on the box above a picture that looked itself good enough to eat (come to think of it, this might not have been such a bad idea).

Anyway, I removed it from its packaging to find this:

What kind of a disgraceful excuse for a pizza is this? There is a distinct lack of topping of any kind - what there is consists of about three square inches of spectacularly thinly dolloped tomato sauce, four shavings of rather bland cheese and ten slices of pepperoni. While they’ve been easily the most generous with this last ingredient there’s not an embarassing amount of it and what has been provided is somewhat unevenly spread. I hardly need add that I grated about half a loaf of my very own cheddar before throwing it in to cook.

On another, sadder note, the famous Scissors have bitten the dust. This happened a few days before the aforementioned pizza incident, and so I had to use the Pizza Cutter to slice this one up. Which was probably a good thing since to ask the Scissors to cut food as shoddy as that would have been downright indecent. So here’s to an old friend: you did us proud.